When Irish Eyes Are Smiling
by Taliahah
Summary: Once again the holidays draw Annie Walker and Eyal Lavin together in an unexpected way as they find themselves in the Land of Leprechauns - and other mystical creatures - for St. Patrick's Day.


Annie flopped down on her hotel room bed, her report finally filed. She'd bought a beautiful mixed bunch of tulips to keep her company in springtime Amsterdam but was tired from her day of sightseeing, an observe-and-report mission that took her in the footsteps of a potential target who seemed determined to visit every possible visitor-friendly spot in the city in one day before catching a plane out. Her cell phone rang. Joan.

"Thanks for the report. Your feet must be killing you."

"This time, I wore flats."

"Up to another minor mission before flying home all the way?"

Why not. "Sure," Annie replied. "What's up?"

"There's some interest in an unusual organization and location in Ireland that's only open to visitors a few times a year. This is one of them."

"Ireland for St. Patrick's Day? Should be fun."

"Actually, at this spot, it appears the Spring Equinox in a few days is the bigger holiday. But we don't need you there then."

"What do I need to know?"

"On this one, it's what you don't need to know. Or think about. Might be best to turn off your brain entirely. The group is a kind of New-age religious cult operating out of an old manor home there -the ancient doyenne of the group is taking visitor appointments over the next few days and I've made one for you. It's a kind of local pilgrimage spot - everyone from celebrities to rock stars and fringy religious leaders seems to stop by occasionally, and some of those visitors have aroused our suspicions. So many people stop by that just by sheer numbers it's likely a few might show up on a watch list or two, so it may be completely innocent - strange but innocent. But as they say, where there is smoke, there's often fire. In addition, recently some surreptitious monitoring has showed some anomalies in radiation levels in the area."

"Radiation levels?"

"Could be natural. There's some sort of underground spring leading to a well that could be a naturally radium-rich water source, and that might be all there is to it. But I'd like you to check it out and, if possible, get a water sample and maybe dip in a dosimeter, the deeper the better."

"And my cover?"

"You're just another seeker after the divine. Your travels in Asia took you through enough temples and sacred sites - fall back on that if you need to. We've put you down as being a yoga instructor from California - that should be enough to soothe any possible suspicions as to your motives." "A semi-official emissary from La-La Land?"

"Exactly."

"Do I have an accessory allowance, scarves, crystal necklaces, big jewelry?"

Joan laughed. "Keep it within reason. Cheaper than designer French purses at least. I'll send over some more background for you. Good luck. May the stars or whatever is necessary be properly aligned and shine on your mission."

"Thanks. Vice-versa. Or whatever's appropriate."

" 'Namaste' I hear is a good catch-all."

"Namaste, then."

Well, the stars were clearly not aligned in her favor after all, Annie thought, ramming her car into reverse. St. Patrick's day was not bringing her luck - just a harder time getting through tiny villages packed with revelers, mostly foreign. To Ireland's Irish, it was little different from any other saint's day in the calendar. The GPS system had taken her on a "road" that was in reality a cow path and was now barred by a wooden fence with a stile leading over it. She backtracked for the fourth time and glanced at her watch. Her special appointment slot was nearly over - if she didn't find the damn manor in the next ten minutes, she'd have lost her space for good. She sighed. Maybe there'd be a cancellation she could get in on over the next few days.

She turned onto another road where the trees grew together over the top of hedgerows - it was like driving in a series of green tunnels, with tiny brown knee-high "roadsigns" that were smaller than most people's "Keep Off The Grass" signs. Missing one of them earlier had started her delays and bad turns. With relief she saw a slightly larger unofficial sign indicating she was nearly at the Manor. She pulled off where indicated and found herself driving through a small village and on to the outer gates of the Manor and into a tiny parking area which must have once been a walled garden. But she was clearly too late and had missed her slot.

A bright Irish lass sitting on a wicker chair in a tiny patch of sunlight behind a Celtic-revival carved table sadly informed her of the news.

"Might there be cancellations?" Annie asked earnestly.

The redhead looked very sad as she looked at her papers. "There is a long waiting list, I fear."

"But I've come all the way from America! From California!"

Someone behind her spoke up. "That's all right, she can come in with me," and Annie turned to see someone that rightly seemed to be the last person on earth to expect and exactly the right person to expect. But the unnerving coincidence - on top of so many - gave Eyal Lavin a distinctly serious and concerned air as they exchanged a few quick whispers.

"I don't believe it."

"Neither do I."

"You're the next appointment?"

"Yes."

"That would be very kind of you, sir! I'm sure Dame Alice will allow it. Just let me make sure." She darted off.

"Why are you here?"

"Bit of noise about this place and group. You?"

"The same."

"But our ... companies have not been communicating?"

"Not that I know of." The sun chose that moment to go behind some clouds, and the day turned grey. In that light, the old manor house seemed a bit ominous. even haunted.

Suddenly a voice drifted down from above. "Helloooo!" A bird-like figure in a purple coat and red hat was hailing them from the crenellated roof. "Yes, it's quite all right for the two of you to share! Do come in! I'll meet you at the back door." The red-haired maiden ran up panting to them with the same news and pointed them to the back door. Though it seemed as if there had not been enough time for the woman to make it down from the roof - unless perhaps there was an elevator inside? she was now there, gesturing them in.

"Actually it is a good thing you were late, my dear. It gave me a little chance to go up to the roof and enjoy that rare bit of sun! Must have come with you from California! And look what a handsome companion you now have! Much more enjoyable for you than tea with just me. Come along."

Eyal and Annie shared a look and plunged through the door after their hostess. The interior was darker and Annie made a quick veer to avoid walking into a mounted fox head which was crammed onto a wall full of them beneath a seven-foot stuffed cayman. Dame Alice led them into a small parlor which was laid out with tea.

"Now to have a cuppa - I am so sorry we have only an hour, you both look like very interesting people! You're Hebrew, aren't you," she said, turning her attention to Eyal, though his cover name was generic.

"Yes, yes I am," he admitted, startled. "Israeli."

"Yes, I can see it. Like one of the ancient biblical kings. Clearly a spiritual representative of King Saul," she added and Annie froze. King Saul Boulevard was the location of Mossad headquarters. Was this woman playing games with them? "Or...yes! King Solomon! Of course. Solomon and Sheba!" she announced, turning to Annie. "That's perfect ... you can help me with something ... " She poured out cups of tea rather haphazardly. It was clear they were not even going to sit down for more than a moment. Dame Alice was shuffling papers and unexpectedly pulling out a small tape recorder.

" I do these dramatic readings of my plays - I have a weekly podcast to our members, very modern ... there's a segment with Solomon and Sheba that needs doing - you can read aloud for me, will only take a moment..."

Annie choked on her tea as Dame Alice swiftly took her cup from her ..."Here. Let's go downstairs. Much more interesting down there, and better acoustics in the crypt. Oh, you aren't afraid of ghosts, are you? We have some. They do tend to come out at the High Holidays more than usual. Nothing harmful. Just spirits!"

"No, we're not afraid of any ghosts," Annie asserted.

That got slightly raised eyebrows from Dame Alice. "Hm. I don't think you are speaking for him, actually. Is she? You respect the spirits, I believe..."

" 'More things in heaven and earth'," Eyal said, softly and non-commitally.

"Oh yes! The words of the Bard! Shakespeare! He was one of us you know. An initiate. Perhaps you are too. Now come along!"

They followed her, exchanging glances, down steep stone steps where Eyal held onto Annie protectively, along a corridor, down more steps, and through an ancient door into a vast but low-ceilinged chamber lit by numerous candles and filled with an array of statues, altars, paintings, decorated curtains, and underfoot, Persian rugs.

"Do watch your head in places!" Dame Alice cautioned Eyal cheerfully.

On one wall was a giant diagram of circles and connected lines. Eyal's attention was drawn by it.

"Oh, yes, you recognize the Tree of Life! Indeed, of course you would. Everything in the universe fits on the tree of life," she said in an explanatory aside to Annie. "It's the supreme symbol of Jewish mysticism. Diagram of the Universe. Kether, Chokmah, Binah..." With a gentle shove she pressed Eyal back up against it. "He makes a fine pillar, doesn't he! Here he stands, the Male Principle! The Chiah in Chokmah, which emanates to the Soul ... " With another gentle but irresistible move, Annie found herself on the other side of the diagram "The neschama in Binah...now of course you are not so tall as he is but that does not mean you are not equal! Women are positive in the spiritual worlds, as men are positive in the material. Oh lovely! But come along now..."

"Did you say the neshem..."

"Now I think you sit here - this is my high altar, goddess in the center, she's lovely, isn't she, by the way, good acoustics, you read this part aloud, this is wonderful, having a true Divine Couple to do this ... "

"I don't really want ..." Eyal tried.

"It will only take a minute! Three paragraphs, a bit of welcome, a little of the Song of Solomon. Now, that is not supposed to be about Sheba, but I think it works. Now you are sitting there, in your throne," She seated him with a little shove. "Here, hold this scepter, it will help you get the feel of it ... and in comes Sheba, personification of the Divine Feminine... I will do the Herald's Voice ..." Dame Alice's voice dropped a few registers and became deeply dramatic. "My king, I now present to you the Queen of Sheba who has come far from the lands to the South..." go on ... don't worry, I'll edit out my directions later... I'm quite good at it ... this will be on my podcast for next week...you read!"

She thrust the paper into Annie's hands. Annie looked at it, looked at Eyal, and gave in. "Oh hail, oh King, whose wisdom has reached the farthest corners of the earth ... I ... I ..." Oh, boy, Annie thought, glancing ahead. "I bring you greetings and gifts from my own land ...and ...and my desire to bear... bear... for you a son like unto his father."

"Try not to stutter, dear. But good! Now you, King Solomon, you say this - we are truncating it... I've cut out the bit about the beloved's teeth being like a flock of sheep and her hair like goat's hair - no modern woman wants to hear that - and rushing it a bit ... symbolic union of the divine male and female ... symbolic here of course! Now go on!"

"This pleases me greatly and I will welcome you to my embrace."

"Good! Well done! Now you!"

"Ah ... Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for thy love is better than wine...A bundle of myrrh is my well-beloved unto me; he shall lie all night betwixt my breasts. My beloved is unto me as a cluster of camphire in the vineyards of Engedi. Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes."

"Now you again!"

"Come with me into my chamber and we will know the delights of love..." She merely pointed at Annie this time. Dutifully, she intoned," Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke, perfumed with myrrh and frankincense, with all powders of the merchant? Behold his bed, which is Solomon's; threescore valiant men are about it, of the valiant of Israel." Threescore men? Annie wondered in silence.

"You again, King Solomon!"

" Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; Thy lips are like a thread of scarlet, and thy speech is comely: thy temples are like a piece of a pomegranate within thy locks. Thy neck is like the tower of David builded for an armoury, whereon there hang a thousand bucklers, all shields of mighty men. Thy two breasts are like two young roes that are twins, which feed among the lilies. Until the day break, and the shadows flee away, I will get me to the mountain of myrrh, and to the hill of frankincense. Thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee. Come with me from Lebanon, my spouse, with me from Lebanon: look from the top of Amana, from the top of Shenir and Hermon, from the lions' dens, from the mountains of the leopards. Thou hast ravished my heart, my sister, my spouse; thou hast ravished my heart with one of thine eyes, with one chain of thy neck. How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse! how much better is thy love than wine! and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! Thy lips, O my spouse, drop as the honeycomb: honey and milk are under thy tongue; and the smell of thy garments is like the smell of Lebanon."

Annie didn't wait for a cue this time. "My beloved is white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. His head is as the most fine gold, his locks are bushy, and black as a raven. His eyes are as the eyes of doves by the rivers of waters, washed with milk, and fitly set. His cheeks are as a bed of spices, as sweet flowers: his lips like lilies, dropping sweet smelling myrrh. His hands are as gold rings set with the beryl: his belly is as bright ivory overlaid with sapphires. His legs are as pillars of marble, set upon sockets of fine gold: his countenance is as Lebanon, excellent as the cedars. His mouth is most sweet: yea, he is altogether lovely. This is my beloved, and this is my friend... I am my beloved's, and his desire is toward me."

Nor did Eyal hesitate this time, as he spoke, smiling at Annie. "Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the field; let us lodge in the villages. Let us get up early to the vineyards; let us see if the vine flourish, whether the tender grape appear, and the pomegranates bud forth: there will I give thee my loves. The mandrakes give a smell, and at our gates are all manner of pleasant fruits, new and old, which I have laid up for thee, O my beloved."

Dame Alice stood by with an encouraging smile upon her face. Annie finished. "Set me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm: for love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a most vehement flame. Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it."

"Lovely, lovely. Now I'll do the closing herald bit - "And so it was that the union of Solomon and Sheba took place in the Spring, and the union was fruitful...!" There's more but I can record that later. I suppose you want a nice look around. This, now this is a statue of Aphrodite ...Yeats especially liked this one I am told..."

"I've heard that there is a um, sacred well?" Annie prompted, trying to get back on mission and not think of Eyal's pillar-like thighs.

"Oh yes, my dear, we are getting to that." They were interrupted by a few words of swearing in Hebrew. "Oh do watch your head, Solomon! Those low beams are quite dangerous ... no problem for me, I'm nice and short - Yes, here's the well, indeed. Give me a hand with the cover, would you? It's a bit heavy. Thanks. Some people see visions in the waters, perhaps you will though you don't believe in spirits. Here, take the purse off your shoulder, look into the waters... Oops! now that was stupid of me!" Annie's bag was disappearing into the waters below, along with the activated dosimeter inside. "How deep is that well?" Eyal asked.

"Oh, thirty feet or so. But you can't be thinking of diving in, now, can you? Could you? Such a brave man!"

"Don't you have a rope with a hook or something?" Annie asked.

But Eyal was busily peeling off layers of clothing, including his shirt, leaving only his boxers and well showing off those pillar-like thighs.

"Fraid not...you really are going to do it? Oh marvelous. And while you are down there, I lost my favorite pair of spectacles recently. They have purple frames, very hard to get hold of here in Ireland, horrible National Health glasses usually. Do you think you could make a grab for them as well?"

"Of course."

"You don't have to do this," Annie protested, even though she actually did need her dosimeter reading as well as the rest of the contents of her purse. But of course he wouldn't hear of it and was already lowering himself over the side of the well, taking a few deep breaths, and disappearing into its depths without further ado.

Dame Alice took advantage of his momentary absence. "You, my dear, I hope you know what you are doing."

"What do you mean?"

"Fate has obviously thrown you together here. And I don't think Fate is making a mistake."

"We don't even know each other...!"

"Oh nonsense," Dame Alice asserted, her expression suddenly sharp. "After reading that little ritual together, you're practically married. Symbolically, of course. A spiritual marriage. But if you have any sense, my dear, you won't leave it that way for long. He clearly fancies you, and he certainly seems fit enough."

A few bubbles broke the surface. How long would it take for him to dive down, get her purse, grab the glasses, and return? And was Eyal even used to free-diving to that depth in what must be cold and perhaps murky waters? They both peered down into the dark waters. It seemed to be taking too long - who knew what was really down there in that deep tube of possibly radioactive water? Annie felt her heart rate increase in anxiety. She looked at Dame Alice with concern, but the elderly woman didn't seem to share her worries. "Here he comes!" Dame Alice announced cheerfully, seeing some movement in the waters; with or without her "spectacles", her vision seemed just fine. Then Eyal broke the surface, holding up Annie's leather purse, which had fortunately been zipped, and returning to Dame Alice the purple-framed spectacles before he grasped the edge of the well and hoisted himself out. "I'll be much more careful of you in the future!" she said, talking to the glasses. "And thanks to you, dear Solomon!"

"My pleasure," he responded, pulling himself up and out. Dame Alice pulled a couple of throws off of chairs and gave them to him to dry himself off with, helping with a few rubs herself before firmly guiding Annie into helping with that task.

"That was cold down there," he admitted to Annie,with a slight tremble. Dame Alice excused herself for a moment and returned with a flask of whiskey. "This should help. Happy Saint Patrick's Day! Oh dear, seems our time is nearly up! There's a lavatory in there if you want it... I'll bid you farewell now, and go to greet my next guest ... do come back any time! I'll always make time for you... Fare thee well, solomon and Sheba! My thanks to you both!" Dame Alice made her exit, triumphantly clutching her spectacles over her head in one hand and her tape recorder in the other, which Eyal noted with a grimace. He was not excited about the permanent recording of his performance. Annie let Eyal work on drying off and she used the small lavatory, emptying out most of the water from inside her purse into the sink. She washed her hands, looking at herself in the antiqued silver mirror above the sink. Over her shoulder was a second face, a pale pretty woman who seemed to be inspecting Annie's own image in the mirror. Annie blinked. The image was still there, perhaps looking more pleasant, as if happy to have a moment's company in the shiny surface. Annie stared at the image. It blinked as she watched. As hard as she tried, she could not explain it away. She looked at the walls. There were no pictures of women who could be somehow reflected into the mirror. She could hear her own heart pounding as she turned around and fled back into the crypt. Eyal was pulling on his clothes.

"What's the matter?"

"Oh, nothing," Annie lied. He went on into the lavatory. She waited. He emerged a few minutes later, looking a bit pale and grim.

"Ready to go?" Annie asked innocently.

"Think so." For a moment they looked around the strange crypt. Annie filled a small bottle she'd brought with water from the well. He took her by the hand, and then they retraced their earlier steps and left, hearing in the distance Dame Alice vigorously greeting another visitor. They walked to their respective cars.

"How are you summing this up in your report?" Annie asked quietly as they stood in the car park area. Eyal's expression spoke volumes.

"One of those times when what is not included is more important, perhaps."

"Leaving out the ghost in the mirror?" Annie asked.

"You saw that too. So you're a believer now? I took that damn mirror right of the nail to see if there was some kind of projection system at work and she was still in it. Yes, leaving out that, and the feeling that an unusual old woman somehow deliberately manipulated both our agencies into sending us here merely to get her spectacles back from the bottom of her well."

Annie laughed, agreeing. "Was there enough whiskey in that flask to really warm you back up?"

"Not nearly. See you at the first pub in the village?"

"Absolutely! And we'll drink a proper toast to Solomon and Sheba ..."

"And to Dame Alice and Saint Patrick..."

"That much toasting might require a room over the pub for the night. Didn't the Song say, "let us lodge in the villages?"

"Dame Alice did tell me I should not let you get away."

"Did she? I knew I liked Dame Alice, ghosts and all. All in all, a very memorable Saint Patrick's Day."


End file.
